


The Book of Disenchantments

by thedevillivesinolives



Category: Disenchantment (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-02 06:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedevillivesinolives/pseuds/thedevillivesinolives
Summary: A series of Disenchantment one-shots. Tags will be updated as stories are posted. Warning: Occasional shipping.Current Chapter:Bean just wasn't big sister material. She never wanted to be one anyways.





	1. The Tale of the Tail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don’t just grab a guys tail!” he paused, “At least buy me a drink first,” (Warning: Bean/Luci)

Bean groaned as lightbeams broke through curtainless windows and threw an arm over her eyes in a crude attempt to block out the sunlight. The new day shone brightly and she spoke a quiet prayer, the sacred words of her morning ritual, under her breath, “Stupid morning, stupid hangover…Stupid Zog,” came her tired mutterings.

Her other arm moved, hand grabbing at a fistful of silken sheets and her knuckles gently rap against satiny fur. She rolled over, tucking said arm under her head and sleepy eyes looked at the small black lump on the bed, “I know you’re not asleep,” she mumbled, reaching out to nudge Luci in a vain attempt to wake herself with morning conversation. He pointedly ignored her but shifted ever so slightly, nuzzling himself deeper into the blankets, “Fine, be that way,” she huffed. 

She closed her eyes and began to idly stroke his not-sleeping form in slow, soothing motions. She felt him move again, adjusting himself so that she could pet him easier.

They laid there in the quietness of her chambers; her eyes closed, petting away a hangover.

Luci rolled out and stretched so that she could pet the whole of his figure. She scratched behind his ears the way she knew he liked before stroking the length of his body, he purred in appreciation. She opened one eye to look at his sprawled out silhouette and absentmindedly wondered if his tail had always been so long. Her hand reached for it.

"Ah!"

He suddenly shot up and she jumped in surprise, letting out a yelp as she just barely caught herself from falling off the side of the bed. He stood at the other end of the mattress, eyes wide and tail gripped close to his body in tiny clawed fists, “What the hell Bean!?” he looked indignant.

She sat up and gave him a blank stare, “I…Wha?” her heart was pounding loudly in her own ears, which did little to help her hangover, “Hey!” she straightened herself out and pointed an accusatory finger at him,”I should be the one saying that! You just—you just—” she waffled, hands grasping at nothing as if trying to pull words from the air, “Freaked out!”

“You don’t just grab a guys tail!” he paused, “At least buy me a drink first,” he finally let go of his tail and straightened out.

Bean’s hands dropped into her lap, baffled, she responded with a blank, “What?”

“I don’t go around grabbing you without asking first,” 

“Yes you do!” It was her turn to be indignant. He absolutely did and the times he wasn’t clinging to her shoulders, arms or legs were about equal to the times he was.

“But I always buy you a drink first,” he countered.

She opened her mouth but closed it quickly. That was… _technically_ true.

“Anyways!” he patted down his torso and then slapped his hands together as if simultaneously dusting himself off and getting ready to move something large, “Who are we going to maim today? Or are we finally going to try arson? I hear houses burn great this time of year,” he was pacing.

Bean raised an eyebrow, he was acting strange…If she didn’t know better she’d say he was…Nervous? Was that possible? Could Luci actually be _nervous_? Is that a thing he did? She didn’t remember that being a thing he did.

“Luci, are you… _embarrassed_?” she watched as a torrent of emotions crossed his face in the span of a halfsecond.

He looked at her, “No,” he replied, as calm as ever.

She hopped over to him, almost pouncing on him and to his credit, he didn’t flinch or fall as the mattress bounced under him.

She leaned over his small figure, her hand beside him to support her weight and he eyed it warily for the briefest of moments, “What’s wrong with you?” she asked, amused but sincere, it was sort of funny to see him get so worked up, “I’ve never seen you like this before,” her other hand snuck up behind him and before she could even graze him, he jumped from her sight. She quickly tried to locate him and found him crouching on the finial of a bed post. He looked crossed and she felt a little bad for teasing him…But only a little bit.

“Jeaz, Luci. I was just joking. If you don’t like it, I won’t do it again,” she sat up on her knees, “I promise,” she drew a cross over her heart to prove her point and laughed a little when he retched at the gesture.

He _humph’ed_ and she leaned out of her bed to watch him slither up the bedpost and then the wall, only to disappear from her view when he slipped past the banister. She heard the gentle _tip taps_ of his sassy walk on particle stone, “I’m going to go see if they finally bled out that waste of space,” before quickly adding, “…And help if they haven’t.” She waited until his footsteps grew silent in the distance before throwing herself back into the soft bedding and cushions.

Her eyes closed again and she took a deep breath.

Suddenly, she felt the weight of a ghostly touch slide across her—up her forearms and over her torso—a familiar voice loud in her ears, “And for the record, I didn’t say I didn’t like it,” her eyes snapped open.

She laid there, staring at the red canopy, totally still and listening for anything or anyone but was only met with silence.

Her hands shot up, hitting her face with an audible _slap!_. She dragged them across a reddened face, her heartbeat frenzied and feeling flustered for some reason…She didn’t want to think about it too deeply.

She really needed a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. I couldn't resist. The urge to crack ship is too strong...I am weak.


	2. Blood Is Thicker Than...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bean just wasn't big sister material. She never wanted to be one anyways.

Derek climbed up the twisting staircase, the heels of his shoes clicking loudly against stone with each hefty step. His teddy was held in a loose grip in one hand, the other rested against the flat of the wall as he came to a stop, panting. Oh, how he hated physical exercise, it was unbecoming of a prince and he could feel sweat clinging to his tunic. He wanted nothing more than to be back in the comfort of his bedchambers with his toys and nanny. 

He eyed the winding passage before him with exhaustion and with a deep breath he took another step, continuing onward. He wasn’t supposed to wander without his nanny, but Bunty had left him to his own devices while she had attended to something else…And he had waited like a good boy, at first anyways, but he had been quick to grow bored and lonesome—his toys did little to keep him company or entertained for long.

He finally reached the top of the staircase and would have let out a relieved sigh if he hadn’t been so overcome with his own ragged breathing. After wiping his brow with his sleeve, he approached a large wooden door with several heaving breaths. With a tentative push, he slowly opened it with an audible creak.

_Slam!_

Something slammed shut, followed by a dull thud, and the sound of rustling fabrics.

“Nothing!” came the hurried voice of his half-sister, but she hastily corrected, “I mean, uh, who’s there?”

He pushed the door open fully, gripping his teddy close to his body as his nerves hit him—he wasn’t an adventurous child, he liked safety and familiarity and this situation was distinctly unfamiliar. He immediately caught sight of Bean, she leaned against an ornate dresser with one hand on her hip and a foot behind the other. The strained smile on her face dropped the moment they locked eyes and she pushed herself upright before crossing her arms over her chest, “What?” she asked irritably, a frown pulling at her lips.

He hesitated, wrapping both arms around his teddy before innocently asking, “Will you play with me?”

“No thanks,” she said immediately. She didn’t look at him as she turned around and pushed open a pane in the large stained glass window. He watched wordlessly as she sat down on the window sill and threw one leg outside.

He titled his head to the side, “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Father says we’re not allowed to the leave the castle.”

She let out a heavy sigh and sat there, silent, for a moment. She didn’t face him and her head was cast downwards, for a second he thought she might jump, but she suddenly replied, “Yeah, well, it sucks here.”

“Aren’t you scared?” at that, she laughed and finally turned her head to face him, looking smug, “Yeah, no. There isn’t anything outside this stupid castle that I can’t handle.”

“I meant of father. He is going to be so terribly angry with you,” she sneered and he flinched.

“I’m not afraid of that lardass,”

Derek really didn’t like it when they fought, they always got so loud and spouted profanities which was so uncouth. He swallowed hard, “Sometimes—sometimes I have a scone for breakfast and if I want another, I just ask father and he lets me have another one and, um…Maybe if you asked father—”

“What would you know?” she snapped, “Zog _actually_ likes you,” she spat, “And unlike you, I don't like being trapped in this dumb castle playing with dumb toys all day!” Derek shrunk into himself and felt what little courage he had leave him. He decided that perhaps this was a bad idea and that he should return to his quarters and await Bunty’s return. If he were lucky, he wouldn’t have to wait long.

“S-sorry…” he managed to choke out before turning to leave.

“Wait!” he hesitated, he didn’t want to be yelled at anymore but something in her tone gave him pause. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Bean approaching him, the window now closed behind her.

She stood in the middle of the room awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck and averting her eyes to anywhere but him, “I didn’t mean that,” she gave him a sideways glance, “I’m sorry, okay?” Derek thought that perhaps she wasn’t as scary as he thought, if not a little too intense for him. And he didn’t really understand why she was the way she was, but he thought maybe she didn’t know either.

She seemed sad.

“It’s okay,” he finally said, “Um, when I get upset and I can’t tell anyone, I, uh, give my teddy a hug and it makes me feel better,” he walked over to her and held out his teddy, urging her to take it, though she just eyed it, “He is very well behaved, I promise.”

She gently took the bear from him and gave it an awkward hug before handing it back.

“…You said you want to play or something, right?” she coughed, “I guess, like, I can go out later. The bars aren’t going anywhere,” he perked up at that.

“You’ll play with me?”

“Sure. I mean, yeah!” she straightened up, looking more like her normal self, “What’re we playing? Blackjack? Poker? Craps?”

He blinked, “Ah, I don’t know those games but me and teddy were going to teach my dolls how to have a tea party.”

She grimaced, "That sounds awf—uuhly fun! Yep! That's what I was going to say! "Fun"!" she smiled, practically baring her teeth, he was happy that she just as excited as he was.

They returned to his room and Derek found that she wasn’t very good at playing (maybe nobody taught her how)—she broke things without meaning to and her games were a little more inappropriate and violent than he would have liked, but he enjoyed her company nonetheless. And best of all, even when Bunty returned and Bean was ready to leave, she had offered to be his playmate sometimes (she made a point to emphasize the "sometimes"), though he didn't know if he had the heart to ever climb the stairs to her room again.

They might not have be close, but he found that he did quite like the idea of having a big sister, even if it was just "sometimes".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if Bunty is actually Derek's nanny but I can't recall anything to the contrary in the show, so I'm headcanon-ing "yes".


End file.
